September Advice Column – Newcomer Edition
For all our newly arrived grade-eight Warriors and those who have joined us from another high school, here is some advice for the problems and issues you might encounter.
1. I’m so scared of high school! What if the teachers give me too much homework and if I fail my exams! I don’t want to repeat grade 8!!!
Don’t worry, you won’t repeat grade 8 as long as you pay attention in class, do the homework, and study effectively. (Remember: studying for too long without rest is NEVER a good idea! Your memory and learning are enhanced only when your brain is active, so distribute your study time wisely!) Luckily, our courses run on a Day 1/Day 2 schedule. If your teacher assigns you homework on Day 1 and it’s due the next class, you’ll have two days to finish it – there is plenty of time! Also, teachers do a great job of preparing you for final exams, and there are lots of tutorial blocks and Homework Club if you need extra help!
2. I just moved into the area and I’m really shy and people don’t really notice me. I really want to make some new friends, but I don’t know how. Help!
Ask Betty
Dear Betty,
I’ve been friends with this guy for a long time. I think I have a crush on him. Should I go for it, or just stay as friends? I don’t want to screw up our friendship…
Betty: If you really want something, then take a chance – go out and get it. If you’re happy and satisfied with being friends with him right now, then maybe it’s best you just keep it that way. If you’re not, though, then you really should go for it. If it doesn’t work out, then just talk it through and go back to being friends. Don’t believe that it’ll be “awkward”, because it’s only awkward if you make it so by always believing it to be. I don’t know about the other person though, LOL, but your open-mindedness might just be able to wash away his awkwardness! ^0^
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Dear Betty,
Months ago, I had a fight with my best friend, turning us into ex-best friends. Well… We didn’t actually fight. I kinda “over-did” something she didn’t like, and then she said we couldn’t be friends anymore. I REGRET NOTHING I DID IN THE PAST, but how can we go back to being best friends?
- Ex-Best friend
Betty: Best friends are two people who understand each other’s likings, so I think you shouldn’t have over-done something if you knew she didn’t like it. But, at the same time she shouldn’t have ended your friendship just like that either. I’m sure you could have done better, like avoid pushing her limit, and so could she. Try talking to her and explain your side. Remember, though, to listen to her thoughts. Hopefully, you two will develop a mutual understanding and can decide on where each one stands. However, if she refuses to reestablish the friendship between the two of you, then I guess it can’t be helped – move on. After all, friendship is about tolerance and forgiveness; we can’t always keep our friends~
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Q: Dear Betty,
How do you avoid people that are awkward/ make the situation awkward?
- ??? o_e
Betty: You can’t avoid those kind of people. That’s why you have to be awkward with them – everybody bathing in one another’s awkwardness in ‘Awkwardville’. Hopefully, they’ll leave you alone then, LOL. : )
My Eighth-Grade Self
High school students were asked the question: What advice would you give your eighth-grade self?
- Moderation is your god. – Justin Fok, alumni
- BE YOURSELF… too many people are pretending to be who they’re not, changing for all the wrong reasons, to be accepted by all the wrong people. – Jenny Ho, grade 12
- Enjoy your time in high school while you can. Try to be productive but at the same time, be at a steady pace so that you can enjoy and appreciate everything around you. Try as many things are you can while you’re still in school… – Tammy Lee, Grade 11
- Worry less about finding that one ‘special’ person and focus on studies. – Matthew Le, grade 11
- Get a catchphrase; something funny that won’t wear off until late grade 10. – Mitchell Agostinho, alumni
- You think you have something to be angsty about? Wait another few years. – Jessica Poon, grade 12
Ask Betty: Advice Column
Q: My boyfriend says he loves me, but every time I try to do something like kiss him or hug him or anything, he always brushes me off. What should I do? I can’t help but think that maybe he doesn’t love me anymore.
A: He needs to justify his words with action. It’s just like our motto, facta non verba (actions not words). You should talk to him about why he brushes off your affectionate actions towards him. If he really loves you, then he should be able to accept those kinds of actions, unless there’s some kind of personal reason behind why he brushes them off. Either way, a talk will clear matters up.
Q: I just met this girl, and I have to say, she’s fantastic. I feel as if we’re on the same beat all the time, and she laughs at all my jokes. We recently began dating because of our great chemistry. The only thing that’s bugging me, is that she hangs out with all these other guys, and it’s really bugging me. How can I tell her that I don’t want her to do that?
A: Nowadays, many of our friends are of the opposite sex. The fact that you don’t want her hanging out with her guy friends doesn’t mean she shouldn’t. Trust her that those other guys are just friends and will only be just friends, nothing more. You’ll just have to grow a high tolerance for her hanging with them, and besides, you probably have friends that are girls whom you hang out with. Telling her how you feel is the most important thing, though.
Q: There’s someone I like, but I’m not sure if I should tell him. He’s been showing all the right signals and everything around me, but the other day, my best friend told me she liked him too. We’ve usually been together around him. What if he actually likes her and not me?
A: It can’t be helped if he likes her and not you. The best you can do is to tell him, and hope it’s you he likes. If he does, then good for you, but you’ll need to go comfort your best friend who will probably be upset that he doesn’t like her. If he likes her though, go cry a river, but don’t drown yourself because you should go and support your best friend who won his heart.
Q: My boyfriend says he loves me, but every time I try to do something like kiss him or hug him or anything, he always brushes me off. What should I do? I can’t help but think that maybe he doesn’t love me anymore.
A: He needs to justify his words with action. It’s just like our motto, facta non verba (actions not words). You should talk to him about why he brushes off your affectionate actions towards him. If he really loves you, then he should be able to accept those kinds of actions, unless there’s some kind of personal reason behind why he brushes them off. Either way, a talk will clear matters up.
Q: I just met this girl, and I have to say, she’s fantastic. I feel as if we’re on the same beat all the time, and she laughs at all my jokes. We recently began dating because of our great chemistry. The only thing that’s bugging me, is that she hangs out with all these other guys, and it’s really bugging me. How can I tell her that I don’t want her to do that?
A: Nowadays, many of our friends are of the opposite sex. The fact that you don’t want her hanging out with her guy friends doesn’t mean she shouldn’t. Trust her that those other guys are just friends and will only be just friends, nothing more. You’ll just have to grow a high tolerance for her hanging with them, and besides, you probably have friends that are girls whom you hang out with. Telling her how you feel is the most important thing, though.
Q: There’s someone I like, but I’m not sure if I should tell him. He’s been showing all the right signals and everything around me, but the other day, my best friend told me she liked him too. We’ve usually been together around him. What if he actually likes her and not me?
A: It can’t be helped if he likes her and not you. The best you can do is to tell him, and hope it’s you he likes. If he does, then good for you, but you’ll need to go comfort your best friend who will probably be upset that he doesn’t like her. If he likes her though, go cry a river, but don’t drown yourself because you should go and support your best friend who won his heart.
Let’s Talk About Stress
By Tanya Waung, Grade 10
It’s everywhere. The nervous twitch, the flustered looks, the anxious orders from one to another… It’s a flu that spreads from one person to the next: Stress. Once one person succumbs, it’s no trouble to pass it on. Yelling at someone for something trivial easily leads to an airborne disease for anyone to catch. It doesn’t help that we feel pressure to make our proud parents happy; after all, they only think of what’s best for us. Joining multiple clubs, volunteering countless hours, studying tirelessly for that next test or exam, and maybe trying to keep a part time job… No doubt that at times it feels like the world’s resting on your shoulders…
How can we tame this stress when we strive for excellence or are pressured to multi-task? The way I see it, there are five major ways to reduce stress.
